Jeez People Aren't Too Bright

Okay so what's the tough part?

If Wendy is in the kitchen, fooling around with food, I sort of jump on her and bump off of her hip. This clearly means "Share." It seems obvious to me. Why, I ask, do I need to repeat myself?

When it's mid-afternoon and there's a lull in the activity, it seems pretty clear to me that when I I sort of jump on someone and bump off of their hip, I'm saying "It's time for a walk". But that too must be repeated.

When Ken is just killing time and I think it's time for a snooze, I jump on him and bump off of his hip. Why must I again, repeat myself? Why does he think he gets to be the one to decide when it's the right time for our daily afternoon snooze.



People think they're so smart ... I've narrowed it down to one way of making my requests and still they act like they don't get it.

Well I'm telling you now, people are not really as bright as they let on !

Tonight at about 9:00 when I start feeling like my "Ten o'clock cookie" I'll stand and stare, the same as I do every night at 9:00. Do you think they'll get it right away? Noooo ... not in your life. Maybe I should start earlier - that might work.

Everyone needs to understand about laps. Grandma gets it.

If you're sitting down, it's mine.

What's the big deal? You're doing nothing, there's nothing on it, you're not using it.

If there's something else on it ... move it over.

It's mine.

Don't you worry about comfort ... I'll take care of that.

Jeez, it sucks being the dog in the family ....

The food maker and general caregiver said "Muggins - Boat", this afternoon. I know what that means, I shall go in the sailboat - I shall enjoy the sailboat ... on their terms. I'm okay with that. I've been doing it all summer. I've learned not to bark at passing boats, people and dogs on the shore, loons and various other things that deserve a warning that Muggins is in the area. If I do I'll get water splashed on me. I get it.

I did everything they wanted -- no barking, no growling at the loons. I was so bored, I actually slept. I even did a couple of things for their enjoyment, like standing with my front paws haphazardly on the gunwales ... they seemed to think this meant I'm getting more comfortable on the boat. Yeah, whatever!

All in all it wasn't bad .... until the end. The alpha-male, also known as the captain of the boat, can't even handle a freakin' canoe. All he had to do was put the danged thing up to the dock so I could jump out and be free to pee or sniff or whatever. But nooooo .... he gets close to the dock and as I begin my usual disembarkment, I suddenly find myself in the water between the canoe and the dock. I distinctly saw the front of the canoe touch the dock. I've done this before, I know what I'm doing. I know he was toying with me!

Silly asses giggled like fools for the next half hour. I almost drowned in the wretched freezing waters and all they can do is laugh.

Now I know what it was like for Mr Gryper in the spring when he suddenly found himself helplessly falling into the frigid depths. The whole bunch of the fools giggled then too. I know the captain deliberately did it to him somehow ... Gryper and I, we know what's going on.

As my slave types my first post for me, I'm snoozing under her chair. I hope she doesn't embarass me with any typos. If she does, here's what I'll do when she tries to apologise for messing up my blog.
















Here's a picture of my sister. She thought she was being really funny stealing all my toys. Jeez people are strange! She knows she's just supposed to throw toys and when I return with one, she should throw it agin. That's the rules!

Well, it's not quite 9:00 so I better go and start bugging for my 10:00 cookie. I don't want my slave to forget about it.